So I just turned 20 on 20th April. And I wanted to write a '20 things I learned in 20 years' post. I’ve been thinking about this for quite a long time but my perfectionist self wasn't allowing me to post.
So here I am, finally posting this 10 days later.
A lot of things happened in just 20 years of my life. If I take a look back even 5 years ago, it’s almost unbelievable to me how much I have grown in such short span of time. I'm not regretful, rather grateful for everything that has happened, even the tragedies.
Each incident either gained me something or I learnt a valuable lesson from it.
I feel like my life isn’t any less interesting than a movie with twists LOL and I might share stories here later with time. But for now, I'm going to list up few lessons I learnt over the years which I wish I could tell my old self when she was scared and anxious when certain things happened in life.
To anyone reading this who still don't know much about how life works, take it from me and live a little less scared.
20 Things I learned In 20 Years:
1. Time heals all wounds, no matter how deep it is.
What I mean by this is, eventually your every wound is going to heal, your every trauma is going to subside and you will start to live normally. But for this, you have to allow yourself to heal. Some of us are so addicted to the pain that we ourselves keep digging on the wound often to prevent it from healing. In that case, this idea does not apply.
2. The right kind of love gives you courage and strength to fight against the entire world.
If taking huge leaps while in love makes you question “is it worth it?” or makes you feel weak, I don't think it's the right one yet.
3. You have to take risks and defy the norm to taste MAGIC.
I always say this to everyone around me. Take risks and explore. Most beautiful feelings are not felt in your safe zone.
4. Calmness is a superpower.
Imagine bullets being fired at you and you're immune to it? Nothing can kill you. Human words are worse than bullets and if you master the art of not taking those personally, you become invincible.
5. Blood relation means nothing if you don't have compassion in heart.
Don't let anyone weaken you saying “but they are your family”. If they are toxic and cause you harm , you cut them off.
6. Us humans are endlessly adaptable.
You can actually survive the environment you think you will never be able to. At this point I really think if we are put through hell, we may learn to live there smoothly too. xD
7. Time means nothing, the kind of people do.
I have had someone for 3+ years that couldn't make me feel what another one did in just 3 months, 1 month precisely. Had a group of people for 6 years who couldn't see in me what another group saw in just 6 months. Vague I know, but I just want to say the amount of time really doesn’t matter.
8. If your surroundings don't grow you, you should change it.
It's very natural for us to get attached to certain environment and certain people if we spend so much time with them. But what's more important is if you are growing or not. Don't be afraid of unfamiliar people and situations, growth happens there.
9. It’s okay to shed friends you don’t get along.
It doesn't necessarily mean something is wrong with them, it's just you prioritized your mental health which is more important.
10. Put Self-love first.
If you don’t take care of yourself, no one else can do it for you. You must keep yourself intact first and care for others next.
11. Tragedies are opportunities.
When someone or something shuts you off, don't think that you will never find anything as good as it was. Instead, try thinking the universe is directing you towards something so much better than what shut you off. World is full of better than your bests.
12. Only help people who wants to be helped.
What you consider a damage to someone, maybe normal to them. You will just burn your energy for nothing and regret a tons later, mark it.
13. Be kind to others, the universe will repay you one way or another.
Your kindness never goes in vain.
14. It’s okay if your parents don’t understand/acknowledge you.
I know they are the most important people in your life and you wish they understood you better. But you can’t really do anything to change them if they don't want to. And the moment you accept this, you set yourself free. Don’t beat yourself up. Nothing is wrong with you. It’s their problem, not yours. Continue to live you way.
15. Your friends are the family you choose.
You can't go back and change the family you were born in. But you definitely can choose to surround yourself with great people who make life a thousand times better.
16. Learn to live alone.
I repeat, learn to live alone. The bitter truth is no one is permanent. Some just stays with you for longest of time, not forever. You must learn to depend on yourself completely.
17. Life will make you pay for some of your mistakes heavily.
That's a brutal truth I learned. You may be lucky enough to be forgiven by people you wronged to but life won't spare you always. Sometimes the price is high and the damage is irreversible.
18. Everything happens for a reason.
Old cliché, I know. But everything truly happens for a better cause. Most of the time we are swayed by negative emotions and tend to overlook the positive outcomes of misfortunes.
19. A guy and a girl cannot be just friends.
Yes, exceptions are there. But I'm talking about in general. A single guy and a single girl, trying to be best of friends. It's just plain impossible. One is bound to fall for the other.
IDK I just had to include this LOL as I was frustrated for years realizing this.
20. You can save yourself if you are willing to be saved.
This is about mental health. A lot of us are drowning in depression, being suicidal, being abused, has parents with bad mental health and has no access to therapists. To them, be your own therapist. Find help online. There isn't anything google won't help you to find. Save or write down motivational quotes. I have 2 diaries filled with quotes that helped me a lot through my early teenage years. I even overcame PTSD by myself through the help of internet. So please, you have every tool you need to fill your mind with positivity, save yourself.
Soo this is it. Obviously, there were more points I wanted to include. but I’ ll just cut it short to 20 for the number's sake. xD
Hope everyone is staying safe.