• Muna

What to Do When Your Parents Don't Support Your Dreams.

There comes a time in life where we have to choose between what our parents want and our own passion.


How many times have we faced situations like this? - We are passionate about certain things but we cannot go for it. Why!! Because our parents don't approve it. - We want to take our favourite subjects in college. But our parents force us to go for medical or a subject of their choice. - We want to marry the love of our life. But our parents steps in between and says NO. - We want to move out to a different country we love, but our parents starts blackmailing us emotionally and manipulates us to think we are being selfish.

And the list goes on…. There are a lot of scenarios like these where parents make adulting more difficult than it already is.


Who suffers the most here? Us.

We question ourselves, “What should I do now? Should I make my parents proud sacrificing my happiness or should I choose my dreams and be genuinely happy in life? Am I being selfish! Am I not being considerate of them!” The hardest part is we don’t want to upset them, rather we want to make them proud. But again, we won’t really be happy if we choose their way. Such a dilemma!!



So.. What is the best thing to do in this situation?


Choose your HAPPINESS.

I know you are just stepping into adulthood. You’re very used to relying on your parents. And taking a decision without their support, infact, against their will seems very intimidating. But trust your heart. Everything is going to be okay after some time.

I don’t encourage you to go against your parents before you are 101% sure about what you are doing and is absolutely aware of it’s consequences.

Before you take this huge step, make sure to ask yourself these three questions. 1. Is this what you really want in life? 2. Is this where your happiness belong? 3. Is it worth going against your parents?


Once you are 100% sure, go for it. Decline your parents’ decision politely and tell them about your thoughts.

If they cannot accept and respect your decision, walk out and continue living life your way. I believe this is going to upset them for short amount of time. They’re going to be okay once they see you thrive. Seeing you happy later in life will make them happy too.



Why should you do this?


Life is too short to waste on things that don’t even make you happy… Too short to waste on pleasing everyone around you.. too short to not pursue your dreams… too precious to waste on marrying the wrong person. You are given not many, but ONE life..one chance to live.


Furthermore, most of the times your parents just want to see you happy. Maybe it’s their old-fashioned way to show love. I have seen parents sacrifice so much for their children. But in a wrong way. What they don’t understand is that after certain age, they should stop worrying about their childrens’ choice. All they can do is suggest something good, not force them into it.


Life would’ve been so much easier if we could pursue what we are passionate about along with our parents support. Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have such understanding and supportive parents. Honestly, as time passed by, I don’t even blame parents much now that I understand their perspective as well.

They are soo used to thinking one specific thing as the best that the vast world of options don't seem to fascinate them much apart from those that are imprinted on their mind.

They believe it's just a phase that we go through which eventually we will come out of and realize what they chose was actually best for us. That isn’t the case, which they don’t understand. We truly want a different life.

Moreover, phase or not, it’s on us to find out. We are to explore in life till we discover ourselves completely.

Controlling kids too much make them dysfunctional, unable to take right decisions later in life. It’s like clipping a grown bird’s wings to keep it from flying in the name of keeping it safe. How long are the parents going to be around their kids? At some point they have to leave, for whatever the reasons. So it’s the best for the parents to allow, infact, teach their children to explore while they’re still there for them. And have their back if they fall.

I know your parents don’t understand these things. But you need to, to prevent yourself from the everlasting damage and also to make sure you don’t carry their legacy with you to your next generation. LOL.


Anyway, you have two options now. Either you sacrifice your entire happiness for your parents or you make them a little upset for the time being and then everything goes back to normal once they see you actually doing good in life. I am completely against the notion of sacrificing life-long happiness. The one that takes away your purpose of living. It’s just not worth it.


So the best option is.. Make yourself proud, your parents will be happy and proud eventually seeing you succeed in whatever field it is. And if they don't understand, don't worry about it. Forgive them. And think it this way, it's neither their fault, nor yours that you are not born in the same age and you have very different mentality, different definitions of best things in life.



What if..?


Now.. what if they are still not pleased even after seeing you thrive and happy in life!! Then it's time you completely stop worrying about their feelings on this. ‘Cause that'd be so selfish of them to force something on you and not care about your happiness.

If their ego is more important than your wellbeing, then they are failing to be your parents.

Don’t feel bad for making them upset. They brought it on themselves.

Be respectful, but don't allow them to decide for you in life.

Don’t let them manipulate you into thinking your choices are wrong.

Don’t let their toxic words get into your heart. Just shrug it off and continue to live your way.

As long as you are not harming someone, you are not doing anything wrong to be ashamed of.


Writes the girl who herself is struggling to be independent, and fighting to marry the love of her life. This post is more like an assurance to myself than to others. :D


Hope you guys can decide what's best for yourself and live life free of regrets and what ifs!


Love,

Muna.



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